


Birds of a Feather

by aroseandapen



Category: Hooky (Webcomic)
Genre: Monica and Damien aren't a thing together but they both love Will, Multi, Pre-Poly, So Monica wants to set them up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroseandapen/pseuds/aroseandapen
Summary: Monica has a proposal for Damien regarding her husband.





	Birds of a Feather

The persistent hammering at this bedroom door woke him up at the ungodly hour of four in the morning. He groaned, prying open his eyelids to glare blearily at the still-dark ceiling. Damien thought that  _he_  got up early, but this was a little ridiculous. Who the hell decided to disturb him so early in the morning?

He didn’t have to wonder for long.

“Hey, Damien! Wake up, open the door, it’s me!” He recognized the muffled voice immediately as Monica’s, and groaned.

Part of him thought about rolling over and going back to sleep. If it was some emergency, Monica wouldn’t bother with knocking; she’d burst right into his room and waking him up by leaping on his bed. He might be able to pretend that he never woke up at all if he laid still and waited for her to get bored enough to leave.

Or not. She kept up the pounding on his door, and shouted again. “ _Damien_ , I know you’re awake! Stop ignoring me!”

Damien almost flushed at being called out. Right, Monica already knew that he was a light sleeper, and that there was no way that he’d sleep through someone knocking on his door. He sighed and relented, rising from his bed to slip his feet into some slippers before he shuffled his way across the room.

When he opened the door, he narrowed his eyes at the perky smile of the queen. She looked as if she’d been awake for a while now, and in all honesty she probably was. It took time to get dressed, and to have her hair done in pretty curls and pinned back like it was. The only thing missing was her crown, but she’d long taken to preferring a witch hat to her crown when she wasn’t doing official business for the kingdom.

“Monica… what do you need from me?” He didn’t bother hiding his irritation with being woken up; she’d see through any false cheer immediately. Monica knew just how early it was. Damien only hoped that she didn’t need anything tedious from him, although knowing her it probably was.

“Hey, look a little more glad to see me, Damien! I’m actually here for you!” Monica’s lips curled into a smile, her eyes glimmering with excitement. “I’m going to help you get the boyfriend of your dreams!”

“…”

He shut the door in her face.

* * *

“ _Ouch_! Careful!”

“Oh be quiet, you big baby. I’m being as gentle as I can, even though you went and slammed the door in my face,” Monica muttered, running a wet comb through his hair.

“Really? I don’t think you’re being gentle at all,” Damien shot back, skeptical as he glared at the wall in front of him, pretending it was Monica’s face. He thought that he kept his hair in pretty decent shape, but somehow the queen managed to find tangles that he never knew existed. The comb snagged on all of them, and it hurt every time.

“Of course I am! Geez, at least it’s nothing like my hair. Making it this shiny and nice comes with a lot of pain, you know.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t do it then, if it hurts so much,” he grumbled, wincing as she tugged on another snag.

Monica gasped, as if what he said had deeply offended her. “I would  _never_ be seen by anybody without even properly doing my hair. What sort of queen would I be if I just let my appearance go?”

“I mean, Will’s probably seen you with messy hair plenty of times already, right?” Damien kept the envy out of his tone. He’d known his feelings for the current king were futile from the very beginning. Will and Monica deserved each other anyway, and he was genuinely happy for him.

It didn’t changed the fact that he  _wished_  that his feelings were reciprocated, however.

Monica got oddly quiet at that. The comb stopped moving through his hair, and she began to fiddle with the ends of it. Damien raised an eyebrow, although she couldn’t see his face.

“What? Hasn’t he? You guys are married, so you must sleep together, right?”

“I-I mean  _yeah_. Not all the time but… sometimes, yeah…” Monica sounded so embarrassed that he could plainly see her blushing face in his mind’s eye. “A-anyway… he’s such a  _dummy_  sometimes that I can’t share a bed with him every night! You–. You know?”

Damien thought about Will, tall and bright-eyed, earnest and genuine yet so block-headed at times. Yet those honest, kind eyes set his heart aflutter every time. He loved that dumbass more than anyone.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

And he knew that Monica loved said dumbass as well.

Clearing his throat, Damien decided to move the topic away from the subject of his unrequited love. “Anyway, back to your silly plan. Why are we doing this again?”

“To get you the boy of your dreams, of course! I told you that! Before you  _slammed the door in my face_.”

If Monica thought that he was going to apologize for that, she had another thing coming. “Right…. this is stupid, I doubt you even found anyone who fits a cliche like that, and I doubt even more that you could get someone to agree to that.” In fact, right now Damien was only humoring Monica.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Damien, because I’ve got the  _perfect_  match for you,” she said, and he could hear the sparkle in her voice.

“Uh-huh. Who is it then?” he asked, face flat and unimpressed.

“The boy is none other than your true love–King William!”

“ _What_!” Damien sputtered and jerked away from her, scrambling up to his feet in the same motion. He whirled around to face her, his expression twisted with a million different emotions. “Hey, if this is a joke, it’s not a funny one! You  _know_  how I feel about Will, and he’s your husband!”

Monica remained kneeling where she’d been as she combed his hair, pouting up at him. Other than that, she seemed unperturbed by his reaction. “I wouldn’t joke about this! I’m serious, I want to help you get the boy of your dreams!”

Damien could feel his eye twitching. “What are you  _talking_  about? What part of ‘you two are married’ do you not get, Monica? I already know that could never happen.”

“That’s not true.” She stood, dusting off her dress. The youthful twinkle in her eyes faded, leaving a mature, serious look in its place. She met his gaze evenly. “Of course I love Will, and I know he loves me as well. But I also know that you love him just as much. Maybe even more, but that’s neither here nor there. And if Will happens to also love you back, just like he loves me, then I don’t see any reason why you two can’t be happy together as well–or rather, the three of us could be happy together, just like we’ve been since we were kids.”

The entire time Monica spoke, Damien found himself unable to interrupt her. He wanted to. He didn’t want to get his hopes up for something that could never happen. Yet as he listened to her, and saw her as the responsible young woman she’d grown into from the hopeless romantic of a girl, he found it hard to doubt her.

He sighed, and prayed that his heart wouldn’t be crushed under Monica’s whims.

“Fine, if you can somehow get Will to agree to this… I’ll give it a shot.”

“Good!” A smile lit up Monica’s face. “He’s already agreed, actually. You got your date at eight o’clock,  _sharp_.”

This was going to end with Damien’s death, he could feel it.


End file.
